Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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