I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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