Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
