What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
