Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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