if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
