I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
