my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize