Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
