In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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