worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
