Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
