she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
