Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
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