I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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