I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize