So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Houston, we have a blender
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
