Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
