I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
