never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
