I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it glows. i had to have it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
