Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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