he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
