I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
