I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
