I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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