Whod you bang
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
