You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
