You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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