The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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