I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
