I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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