I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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