just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize