This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
