It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
