erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
