apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
