sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
