i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
