Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
