so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
