Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
