I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
