yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
