everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
