Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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