She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize