Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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