ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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