apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
