Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
