I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
