she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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