Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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