Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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