yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
