Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
