What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
