The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
