so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
